I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
