What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
