i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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