So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize