Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
