he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
