I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
