Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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