Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
