help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
third nipple confirmed
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
