i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
try to milk me bitch
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