if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm too high and old for this...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
