Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
