I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
