i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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