My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
