idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I want to have your abortion
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
