sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
