just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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