Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
