ugly people sure do ruin things
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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