Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Enjoy the penises
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
