she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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