Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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