im six kinds of drunk right now
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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