I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
