i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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