Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
