dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
