This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
