Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
