I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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