She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
