Porn is love you can see.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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