I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
