i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My ass is underappreciated
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
