he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
