im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
