All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
