I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
