She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
