We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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