This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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