fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
