No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
cat food counts as protein by the way
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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