This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize