guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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