I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
