Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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