Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
