Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
