so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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