My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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