he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
