does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize