He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
